You know you need to talk to a friend about a sensitive issue. Or you may have an issue at work that requires meeting with your boss. We'd rather avoid such situations but know that life is filled with such conversations.
How can you ensure the meeting will go smoothly? Here are a few tips:
Write down your major points. Take a few minutes to sit down and think about the issue you want to discuss. What will be your main point? Why is it important for you to communicate it to this person? If you want to go the extra mile, write how this conversation will go, creating in detail both of your responses. Envision a successful and fruitful end result.
Act the devil's advocate. Whenever we discuss something sensitive with another person, there is a strong chance that he or she will become defensive. When writing your major points, anticipate their response, including any defense mechanisms. Denial, obfuscating, deflection - all are ways to avoid dealing with the issue at hand. Consider how you will handle such tactics ahead of time to smooth the road.
Keep your focus. If you called the meeting, you're the one in charge. Keep the conversation on track by discussing your issue until you both have reached some type of resolution. If the other person tries to bring another issue to your conversation, you run the risk of derailment if you allow it to shift. Stay on point and agree to schedule another time to discuss separate issues, especially if you feel blindsided by the issue they've raised.
When you do schedule a time for that conversation, make sure you're in an environment that supports you. Neutral meeting grounds such as non-chaotic restaurants or coffee shops are good choices; or a park location when meeting a friend. You want to minimize as many interruptions as possible.
Do all the above and then remind yourself that these types of discussions often provide the springboard for change. It is a good growth opportunity for both you, and the other person!
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